Archive for May, 2008

Today, I contemplated a possible scenario for this November’s General Election. What if Barack Obama and John McCain tie in the Electoral College at 269 each. We all know that the House of Representatives would decide the presidency, and that each state delegation would get one vote. So, 50 votes to determine the presidency.

You may ask why I think this is possible. Thanks to’s iteractive map and the latest battleground polls from, I can paint you the scenario.

At present Dems have: WA, OR, CA, IL, NY, DC, MD, DE, CT, RI, MA, VT, HI and ME for 175 electoral votes.

The Reps have ID, MT, WY, ND, SD, NE, KS, OK, TX, AZ, AK, LA, AR, IN, KY, TN, MS, AL, GA, SC, WV for 174 electoral votes.

Based on the battleground polls the following states should go to Obama: CO, NM, MN, IA, WI, MI, PA, and NJ

Leaving FL, NV, MO, NC, VA, NH, and OH for McCain.


What a scenario, but it’s a long way to November. Anything can happen.

Even more crazy is the fact that the House chooses the president, but the Senate will choose the VP. How cool is that? We could have President McCain and VP Obama.


Will I Ever…

Posted: May 19, 2008 in Uncategorized
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Will I ever…feel older. You know what I mean–like an adult.  I’m 34 and still feel as though I’m a kid.  Well, my perspective has changed, but life itself goes on in much the same way as it always has.

When speaking with those older and wiser they do admit to me that age creeps up on you.  My grandmother tells me “it stinks to get old.”  Based on the number of physical pains she experiences I would agree.  But when does it finally “click” in our heads that we are adults.

I know that legally I am.  Younger people now call me sir. (I’m still not used to that.)  I just don’t feel any older.  I still enjoy playing tag, sports, capture the flag.  I can hear that mosquito ringtone adults aren’t supposed to be able to hear.  I like cartoons. “Tom and Jerry” “Looney Tunes” etc…

I’m not complaining–Just wondering.




Posted: May 15, 2008 in Movies
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I watched Tombstone (1993 starring Kurt Russell and Val Kilmer, among others) again the other night. I had forgotten how many good lines there are in that movie. Of course, we all remember “I’ll be your huckleberry.” and “You tell ’em I’M coming… and hell’s coming with me, you hear?…. Hell’s coming with me!” But I think, my new favorite is a line Doc Holiday says after he and Wyatt charge across a creek to kill several of the cowboys. It goes…

Turkey Creek Jack Johnson: Why you doin’ this, Doc?
Doc Holliday: Because Wyatt Earp is my friend.
Turkey Creek Jack Johnson: Friend? Hell, I got lots of friends.
Doc Holliday: …I don’t.


Friendship is a valuable thing. I want to be a good friend, but I kinda stink at relationships. At least, maintaining them. I know that if you want friends you must be a friend. It’s something I need to work on.


Here is a recipe you’ve got to try if you wish to become a full fledged redneck.

It’s Bologna Cake aka Baloney Cake and if Rice O Roni is the San Francisco Treat, then Bologna Cake is the West Virginia treat. (No offense to you from WV, I just selected you because after all the inbred jokes you should be pretty thick skinned or jaded by now.)

You start with a pound and a half of bologna and have it sliced about 1/2 inch thick. You also need two 8 oz. containers of cream cheese. You place a slice of bologna on a plate and begin layering cream cheese and bologna in alternating layers. When all the bologna is used up you take the excess cream cheese and “ice” the monstrosity just created like you would any other cake. Chill and serve with crackers.

Who wants to make this? Sadly, I do. I’m curious to see what it tastes like. If you’ve had it let me know what you think.

Random Ranting

Posted: May 12, 2008 in Random Uselessness

OK-here comes some mental diarrhea. I apologize for the purge.

My weekends are busier than my workweek…and I teach in a middle school.

I don’t like when drive thru workers cut me off when I’m ordering with statements like, “would you like anything else?” Well, if they would let me finish my order I would let them know.

Bob Barr is running for president. Seriously? What is he thinking. He has about as much of a chance of winning as Al Sharpton does becoming the head of the Mormon Church.

John Wayne was a better Davy Crockett than Fess Parker.

I am a rich, rich man. Not in money, but in family and friends.

I need to be a better witness for Christ.

Obama, Heir (Err) Apparant

Posted: May 7, 2008 in Politics
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Well, after yesterday’s election results in NC and IN, it appears that freshman Sen. Obama (D-Illinois) at 46 years of age, is going to win his party’s nomination for president. I happen to think his nomination will secure a win in November for the Republican party. Here’s why.

Obama is young–too young–and lacks the political experience of an older lawmaker or statesman. (Hey, liberal press–where is the “gravitas” buzzword from the 2000 election.) There are those who won’t vote for someone so young and unproven.

Can any of his supporters list for me the legislation he has sponsored and passionately fought for in Congress? This lack of achievement in legislation will leave many people wondering why he wants to be president. At the end of the day, you can’t hide from your voting record or lack therof.

Sadly, there are still people in this country who will not vote for an individual based on their race, religion, or sex. While great strides have been made in our nation to ease racial tensions, Mr. Obama will have a great hurdle to overcome, especially in light of Jeremiah Wright’s ranting.

Mr. Obama is charismatic, bright, and articulate. Catchy slogans, big smiles, and promises can win your party’s nomination, but they won’t move you to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.

Well, thanks to my good friend Mark LeHew ( I have been inspired to begin my own blog–and I am forced to ask the question “will anyone read this?” With millions of bloggers, here’s hopin’.

I will mostly write about my interests, (Real original, huh?) observations, and life in general. Oh, and as for my name, “Captain Useless” I was dubbed this by my co-workers several years back. They said it was because I was a wealth of useless trivia knowledge. I think it’s because I was just plain useless on the job. Either way, the name has stuck, so welcome to the mind of Captain Useless.